When the children do not arrive: how to overcome loneliness and misunderstandings

When you try and fail to conceive, it’s easy to feel lonely and poorly understood. Here are four simple tips that will help you face this moment in the best possible way!

Are you trying to have a baby, but can’t (yet) get pregnant ? Do not distress yourself: is a condition shared by many women, and it is important – in this journey – avoid blame themselves and to make comparisons with the friends who seem to all get pregnant on the first try, making you feel even more incompetent or under pressure …

You It is completely normal for a woman with infertility problems , or who is trying to become pregnant without success, to suffer a profound loneliness that comes from the constant frustration of her desire for motherhood . But the truth is that you are far from alone: ​​one in five couples in Italyshe is unable to have children naturally and decides to rely on Medically Assisted Procreation techniques! According to statistics, more than 15% of couples suffer from infertility and almost half of women of childbearing age (18-49 years) have no children.

Here, then, are four tips – simple, but fundamental! – to be able to live with serenity this certainly not easy moment and – above all – to feel less alone in your search! First, however, let’s leave the floor to Doctor Zerbetto , specialist in gynecology and obstetrics, who will give you some suggestions to be able to conceive :

1. Don’t blame yourself!

Often women who are unable to have a child tend to blame themselves : the conviction is born in them of not being able, of not being able and that there is therefore something in themselves that is not working . This is a really wrong thought, which you must push away with all your might!

There is nothing wrong with you : having a child is a completely natural event and Nature has its times and, above all, its will that you cannot control and that does not depend on you! Try to get into a much healthier perspective that if it has to happen it will happen , and if it doesn’t happen it will certainly not be your fault.

Of course, we know that after 35 years of age the chances of getting pregnant decrease, and some may feel “guilty” for not trying before. Think about it, though: if it didn’t happen before, it’s because you didn’t feel like it , maybe you didn’t have the right person at your side, the material conditions or the ment al serenity so that it could happen … It’s useless to complain or throw yourself further stress : if you have chosen to try now, that’s okay. Blaming yourself can only put you in a deleterious frame of mind, first of all for yourself.

2. Confront people who have the same experience as you!

Sharing your experience with other women who can truly understand you is essential to feel less alone! Those with infertility problems or difficulties conceiving have a deep need to talk about it with people who have experienced or are experiencing the same fears , anxieties and worries. Sharing is the best way to feel less anguish that loneliness only amplifies …

3. Take some time for yourself!

Dedicate time to yourself and your passions : whether it’s gardening, reading or DIY, try to include it as much as possible in your weekly routine to relax and concentrate on an activity that you love to do and that fills your heart and thoughts.

This is always a flawless trick to carve out a moment out of time and recharge, letting go of worries, anxieties and bad thoughts. So indulge in some more pampering: organize an aperitif with your friends, go for a nice shopping trip, book a weekend at the spa with your partner or simply enjoy a relaxing bath or a good romantic movie with a super bowl of pop- corn!

They are small things,small attentions towards yourself , which will certainly help you to distract yourself, relax and feel more serene and fulfilled.

4. Don’t listen to those who don’t understand or pressure you!

Finally, don’t listen to those who put pressure on you ! We all know that it is hard to listen to the constant questions of relatives who ask you when you will have a child … And if you are already trying to no avail, being constantly urged is even worse!

Don’t let this kind of pressure bring you down any further : be honest that the will is there, but it still needs some time. Being honest is always the best choice, but you can always silence them by saying that this is a topic you prefer not to talk about!

The important thing is that you are the first to not let yourself be disheartened by the words of others, especially those of those who do not understand what you are going through and tend to belittle it. Instead , seek the listening and understanding of those who can really understand you, like the many women already registered with Conneggs , ready to share this difficult but splendid journey with you.

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